Show, Don't Tell - VIII
Use vivid descriptions and actions to convey emotions and events, avoiding direct statements
In this series we are attempting to write a short story with the assistance of generative AI tools. Familiarise yourself with the narrative overview before reading on. Now we are stepping through each plot line.
We’ve covered Setting, Theme, Conflict, Points of View, Character Development for the protagonist, character development for secondary characters and plot in previous articles.
Storyboard VIII
Our attention now turns to the most pivotal character in our short story - that of the tea plantation owner.
The plot line introducing this character simply says An elderly person invites Pandi to make tea and is described in our narrative summary as “An elderly person sits down next to Pandi and asks if she would like to try to make her own tea while they wait for the competition to start.”
In our character development article, we established that the tea plantation owner is depicted as an elderly individual with a discerning tastes. Their role as the sole judge of the contest positions them as an authoritative figure in the tea-making event. The owner's willingness to engage with Pandi demonstrates a gracious and appreciative nature. Future plot lines suggests a value placed on meaningful interactions, reflecting a depth of character beyond the role of a judge.
We need to describe an initial meeting which is intriguing, but natural and positioned in a way that allows for the upcoming twist that plays out in a surprising resolution for Pandi and the reader. At this first introduction, the tea plantation owner is just an old person who has a great conversation with Pandi. Then in future scenes, we will reveal that they are the owner of the tea plantation and sole judge of the contest.
The scene should end with an invitation for Pandi to have a try at making them both a cup of tea.
Collaboration
Here is how Grok interprets the scene, the terse description of the meet is lacking some important details, but the invitation to make tea looks almost perfect
I sat on the soft grass, watching the bustle of the tea-making teams as they prepared for the competition. The air was thick with the scent of tea leaves, and I couldn't help but smile at the excitement that seemed to permeate the atmosphere.
As I was taking in the scene, an elderly man approached and sat down next to me. He had a kind face, and his eyes twinkled with a wisdom that only comes with age.
"You look like you're enjoying the preparations," he said, his voice warm and gentle.
"Yes, it's fascinating to see all the different teams and their unique approaches to tea-making," I replied, feeling a sense of ease in his presence.
"I couldn't agree more," he said, nodding in understanding. "I've been a tea enthusiast for as long as I can remember, and it never ceases to amaze me how much there is to learn about this wonderful beverage."
We fell into a comfortable conversation, discussing our favorite types of tea and the various methods of brewing. It felt like we had known each other for years, and I was grateful for the company of this friendly stranger.
As we talked, the elderly man leaned in and said, "You know, while we're waiting for the competition to start, why don't you try making a cup of tea for us? It's always a treat to try something new."
I hesitated for a moment, feeling unsure of my skills. But the man's gentle smile and encouraging words put me at ease. "I'd love to," I replied, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation.
And so, under the guidance of my new friend, I set out to make a cup of tea for us both, embarking on a journey that would lead to a surprising discovery and a memorable experience.
ChatGPT adds some nuanced touches and gets the initial meet just right. Unfortunately, even though we prompted it not to do so - it goes a step further and ends the mini narrative with a happy ending which is something we want to avoid in order for our following plot points to make sense
Sitting in front of the stage, lost in the kaleidoscope of preparations for the tea-making contest, I barely notice the elderly man who takes a seat next to me. His presence is unassuming, yet there's a certain grace about him that commands respect. He turns to me with a warm smile, his eyes twinkling with a mix of wisdom and curiosity.
"Hello there, young lady. You seem quite engrossed in the festivities," he says in a voice that carries the gentle cadence of experience. "Have you ever tried making tea yourself?"
I'm taken aback by his question, but his friendly demeanor encourages me to engage in conversation. "No, I haven't," I admit, smiling back. "I'm Pandi, just a traveler from Western Australia, and this is all quite new to me."
"I'm Hari," he introduces himself, extending a hand weathered by years yet strong in its grip. "It's always a pleasure to meet someone who appreciates the art of tea. Would you like to try your hand at making some? It's quite an experience."
His invitation surprises me, but the excitement of learning something new in this beautiful setting is too enticing to resist. "I'd love to," I reply, my curiosity piqued. "But I must warn you, I'm a complete novice."
Hari chuckles softly. "Then let's make this a learning adventure. You see, tea-making is not just about the brew; it's about the experience, the connection with the leaves, the water, and the people you share it with."
As we make our way to a small, makeshift tea-making station, I learn that Hari is a regular visitor to these contests, a lover of tea with a wealth of knowledge about its intricacies. His passion for tea is infectious, and as he guides me through the steps – selecting leaves, boiling water, steeping – I find myself immersed in a world I never knew existed.
The sun filters through the leaves of the surrounding trees, casting a soft glow over our little tea-making endeavor. The aromas of various teas blend in the air around us, creating a heady mix that adds to the magic of the moment.
Hari's gentle guidance and my tentative attempts at brewing create a bond that transcends our brief acquaintance. As I pour the tea into cups, my initial nervousness gives way to a sense of accomplishment. We raise our cups in a silent toast, and as I take my first sip, I realize that this isn't just about making tea – it's about making memories.
"What a delightful cup of tea, Pandi," Hari says with a nod of approval. "You have a natural touch. Remember, every cup of tea holds a story. What's yours?"
Little do I know, as we chat and laugh, that Hari is more than just a tea enthusiast. He's the tea plantation owner and the sole judge of today's contest – a revelation that would soon add a surprising twist to my journey. For now, though, he's just Hari, my guide in the art of tea-making and a newfound friend in this enchanting land.
An alternative plot point discussed earlier in our series calls for a better initial question to ask which team Pandi belongs to, we’ll include that in our first attempt at telling the narrative that integrates collaborative AI responses with our own ideas
First Attempt
The sun is high over the Munnar tea plantation, casting a warm glow on the sea of green around me. I'm sitting on a bench in front of the competition stage, lost in the buzz of teams preparing their brew. Each group is a whirl of activity, their excitement palpable. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I turn to see an elderly man with a gentle smile. He's wearing a simple, crisp white kurta that seems to blend with the serene surroundings.
"Which is your team?" he says in a soft, amiable voice. His question is casual, yet there's a hint of wisdom in his tone that prompts me to continue.
"It's all quite fascinating," I reply, returning his smile. "I've never seen anything like this back in Kalumburu." I start to talk about the experience of getting a ride from the British Tourists when he interrupts.
“Hold that thought if you don’t mind. This sounds like a good story, how about you tell me while you try your hand at making your own tea? I’m Hari by the way. Always in a hurry they tell me!”
His playful joke forces another smile out of me and I accept with no hesitation. The idea of brewing tea, here amidst the experts and connoisseurs, is both daunting and exhilarating. But there's a warmth and comforting demeanour in Hari’s sparkling eyes. His face etched with the wisdom of years speaks of a lively curiosity.
I follow Hari over to a small, makeshift tea-making station behind the stage where the other contestants are still preparing and wonder where to start.
In our next article, we will move the story forward and build up to an unexpected twist as Pandi talks about her life while making tea
Thanks
Grok, ChatGPT, Midjourney and Magnific.AI were used to create the storyboard of this scene. Here is a sample interaction
